how do you learn new things?

pain. i learn through pain. small, but compounding, instances of pain. it gets to a point where i don't plumb the depths of my psyche hoping to find a submerged cave to supplamant my new findings. but, it's more like a riptide, pulling me in before i even realize what's happening. maybe this is what an appiphany is called, or maybe it's enlightenment. but these one thousand and one instances of stubbing my toe surmount to one unifying (and no so grand) moment of understanding that
stubbing my toe is not a wise decision (if there's even a decision to be had in that moment). and rightfully, that sounds somewhat assinign. wouldn't the first iteration of stubbing your toe, putting your hand on the stove, or anything really be warrant enough to recognize that one painful go on that merry-go-round is enough? well, i agree, however, that's not my standard operating procedure. i cognitively understand it something about six months before i emotionally (and somewhat
spiritually) understand whatever i learn. the psychological and emotionally parts of me are out of step like suffering through a lagging and disjointed internet call. it's when the proverbially cloud that hangs over my internet call clears for better skies is when i truely learn something. the logical and the emotional elements of my asynchronus self meld into something that derives deeper meaning. a meaning that isn't superficial, that the emotional and empathetic nature of
understanding adds a nuiance to the logic that digs deeper into my psyche. that leaves a mark on my person of knowledge trailblazing for wisdom. my learning is asynchronus, it's slow, it's clunky. but it's me. there are ways to expedite, ways to increase efficiency, ways to even be more effective, but that's not my style when i first get out of bed in the afternoon. it's roundabout, it's inefficient, and most times, lazy. but it's me. a me who recognizes that my learning is an exstension
of my disjointed self, and therefore, held together by three layers of off-brand scotch tape, two prayers to gods i really don't believe in, and ultimately, my ability to tolerate the pain of stubbing my toe for the one thousand and first time. "if you're going to be stupid, you have to be strong".